Saturday, December 12, 2009

不忠于情

嘿嘿,终于有进展了........
不过呢,在明争暗斗还有使阴谋方面,我还得加把劲。
毕竟要使高手段,还是件难事。
要写得好更加难........
有时真的会想是不是不适合写小说。
但有时还真不想对不起那些灵感,所以才决定要写下的。
毕竟是个心愿啊!
我这人好几次要做某件事都做不成,只希望这次可以坚持到底。
谢谢你啊,仪琳,一直帮我审文还有听我的故事结构。
还有老哥,多亏你替我想了名字,要不,很多东西都毁了。

不过呀,我老想的,都是后半部的故事情节,前半部的......
好像荒废了。
唉.......惨了,不过,武瞾和赵澈的故事比较有趣。
女主角方面,水嫣和狐星梦会比较吸引。
赵悬和龙玥的,比较闷。

是否该改一改,把后半部的变作前面,
前半部的变作回忆便好?
哎呀,好乱,明明先想好前半部的,
怎么后来的注意力全被后半部吸去了。
气死人了,改天找仪琳商量看好了。

第一部的故事如果不发展,第二步就很难写了,
因为很多事会变得不清楚。
怎么办...........
救命啊!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

瓶颈


认识我的人都该知道,我神神秘秘的在写一些东西。
不错,我是在写小说,
故事结构好了,人物初步定了。
刚开始挺好,没什么事,有一阵,还灵感超标。
那时竟是考试时期.......
哎.......
天不顺人。
可是最近,我遇到瓶颈了。
唉.......
恐怖,有时竟然是握着笔,
愣了一整天,一个字都吐不出来。
人物,标了这个人是容易,可是,
塑造个性,需要非常大的时间去揣摩。
马马虎虎写了,个性不生动,一切就毁了。

还有故事,情节构思,好难。
要符合逻辑,又不可一太普通或匪夷所思,
最难是取舍吧......
有些情节自己构思了很喜欢,但对不上其他情节,
作者在这时候就要勇于取舍。
要不然硬把一个情节塞进去,很怪。

说的好像大作家似的,其实我还不是一个菜鸟。
第一篇长篇小说不会好到哪里去,
但毕竟是我个人的一个心愿,
希望有生之年得以达成。

Saturday, October 17, 2009

读书商道

好久没来写了,最近比较忙,
考试一塌糊涂,前途路渐行渐难。
不过,却点起了我有史以来,最想翻身的火苗。
我不甘心,
我是有点懒,但是,我也有努力的。
却考歪了。
哎,怨谁呢?只有自己了。

我时常看小说,离不开电视,这个啊,
的确得收敛。
跟爸爸聊了,他知道我数学挂了,却没骂我,
反而鼓励我,真的,很感激。

我这次失败了,败在太懒散,太轻敌。
中六,的确不是想象中的容易。
算了,就当作了宗赔本生意,下次再赚回来就好了。

老哥骂的是啊!
付出的代价,是大了点。
但是,我终于敢于面对。
我会加油的,不会在胡思乱想,
虽然依然离不开电视,但我会减少,
也会改一改怕输的心态。

手中有钱,心中无钱,
不知道,我能不能将此道理融入读书之道呢?
如果真能做到,
那我才真能盈利双收呢。

大家对我有信心,我自己却不敢说,
但我会尽我所能,努力吧!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Dino

This holiday, I went to Kuala Lumpur with my siblings.
Well, we are lucky to have relatives there so there's no need to worry about the matter of hospitality.
As usual, we stayed in our Uncle Yew Wei's house.

I like his house because it is really artistic, most of the things is DIY and you feel really free in his house as you can do or use whatever you want.
Just don't spoilt anything.
Feel like home, is my uncle's propaganda to his niece and nephews.
But what that makes me like his house so much is his son, i mean his pet.


Ya, you are right, it's dino from the title, a fluffy white sphinx.
He is our little cousin.
Although old in dog age, (14 years old)
he is as adorerable as a puppy , and everyone agree this.
But he wont brings a ball and ask you to play, he don't want to play tug of war,
he is not as destructive as marley nor as talented for shows as lasie.

He is just a quiet dog which loves apollo cake.
One morning i accidentally ate his apollo cake and unfortunately he saw it and i got scold by his dog language.
To comfort him
I had to let him eat.

My brother looks after whenever he goes to my uncle house, and you can see the dog talks and tells him somethings.
wonders he knows what dino says.

Dino likes my sister, he likes to goes to her and sat by her feet where she would pat him nicely and the dog doze off.
My cousin(human), Ee Ling, I wonder did she upset Dino before.
Err, Dino, doesn't like her that much.
He may growls when eeling touch him which shocks her much.
But now it's better.
Maybe eeling accidentally ate his apollo cake without apolozising to him.

Dino has a brother, Oldi which left him behind last year.
He realised his brother's left a few days after and cry hysterically.
Who ever had said animal's don't have feelings?
Human may trapped and even killed their own siblings for some unknown reasons,
but dogs may sometimes fight but still cry over the death of their beloved.]
maybe in some case, animals are respectful than humans.
In this world , human not only kill the other species but also their own kind.
It's sad to hear this, right?

Dino, you are my uncle greatest support and what keep him happy the most.
You will let us know when the time comes , right?
You are the greatest dog ever!


Friday, August 21, 2009

报恩

哎呀,终于假期了,可是,假期前夕,
我们算术老师竟为我们捎了个坏消息,
九月中旬大考,气死我也!

原本归心似箭的心,突然如冷水浇头,冷了、愣了。
中三考试,关我何事?为何定得因其提前,而跟着提前呢?
可有天理?我们也可以压后的啊!
为何定得提前?
哎..........事与愿违。

中六的生活一日比一日的忙,功课一日比一日多。
所幸,至今本人尚可应付,功课往往更不能随我归家。
朋友们,其实若你们有何疑问,本人是愿闻其详,加以回答
只是,我有时会心情不太好(尤其睡眠不足,血糖低时),
所以反应较为冷漠,抱歉了。
而且本人也并非韩愈等辈,不善教学,往往弄巧反拙。
可惜你们亦不会明白我,多半会认为此人自私冷漠........
但所庆幸乃,亦有明白我之人,使我得以释怀。

往日故友,在下实在思念你们。
往日你们的苦,现在得以深感其受。
并非你们不愿教,只是你们偶尔也想做自己的事情。
智隽,明哲,毓康,谢谢也对不起!
老彦啊,此生最好的朋友或不是你,但此生最感激之人,却非你莫属。
打扰你太多,欠你太多,我十分抱歉。
老姐曾说,我就只会对朋友好,
但她从未看过我的友人是如何赴汤蹈火的帮助我。
洁仪如此,千寻如此,佩婷如此,老彦亦是如此。
此等人,我为其办事,亦是义不容辞,决不皱一下眉头。
也许,大家会说我傻,何必因为别人对你的一日好,就对别人加倍的好。
我也难保自己能一直这样下去,也许有一天我会比赢政更忘恩负义,谁知道呀?

这一刻,乘我仍有哪一点情谊,我会尽我所能,报答你们。
我的一半,使得报父母家人,另一半分给你们吧!
留一些些给自己就好了。
不知是么时候才能还清,但我会努力的。
你们也有欠我哦!哈哈,互相还清吧!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

武侠

我钟爱武侠小说,这是认识我的人都知道的事,
虽然我姐姐老说人过了一个年纪就不想再看武侠小说了,然而,
我觉得,不然。

小生年方十八,依然钟爱此类小说,说我不成熟?
是随尊便。
为什么一个十八岁的人捧着一本韩式爱情无厘头小说,
倒没人说幼稚了?
罢了,我不想和谁争辩,毕竟与我同好者不多。

一本好看的武侠小说,除了故事情节之外,
我想人物是最重要的,
不但是主人翁,其余的配角的角色必须是灵活,生动,
角色分配得捉得很准确,不能太多也不能太少,
绝不能有喧宾夺主之相。
故事情节,无论在武打或情感方面,火候也要控制得很好,
哪一方面太投入,或太疏忽,也不行,
小说,必须令读者直接想象到其画面,描写仔细得来,却不能太修饰。

难写吧?武侠小说的确比起一般小说来说,费时更多。
人物多,故事复杂,
或许有些不喜欢看武侠小说,为的就是这个。
我记得曾经有一个朋友说,武侠小说太多人物了,
看了这一个又忘了刚才这个是谁了。
嗯,无法否认,有些人不能接受武侠小说,
那没什么,我本人也有不能接受的书籍。

我看过最喜欢的武侠小说,
应该是凤歌的昆仑吧!
老哥曾问我昆仑还是沧海好些?
呵呵,至今我依然不太答得出来。
若选的话,昆仑吧!毕竟是第一本令我在武侠新秀中惊艳的作品。

主角成长写得非常和顺,没有所谓突然的转变,
武打情节虽没金庸好,却有自己一番风味。
值得一看。

沧海也是一部值得看的小说,
同作者的手法,角色分配很生动性更卓越。
新的武打手法,融合了一些玄幻因素,
其中纸风蝶,千鳞,写得不错。
令人印象深刻。

现在有许多玄幻式的武侠小说,
其中诛仙(介绍过了),搜神记,不错,
只是前者武打方式有待改进,后者故事过于冗长。

总之,都是我的意见,值得参考!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Anime

I enjoy watching anime,
err....I had to mention that it's japan anime.
However my request is quite high, haha
maybe get an influence from my brother.
Most people may think that anime, nah......
parents:" Time wasting! Please, get your attention on your schoolwork!"
Teacher:"Bring bad influence to youngsters these days........ahh, I wonder what they are thinking?"
Students(a part, mostly study type):" anime? you mean cartoon? oh god, please, how old are you? It's better to read a book or watch discovery"


That's how some people react when they heard the term anime,why?
Actually,most people watch japan anime because of the fine drawing of handsome bishonen(花样男)and kawayi girls that is really hard to find in reality.
They don't care what the anime brings and what it tends to say.
They just often discuss like this:" Did you see that Kaname? oh , he is truly handsome."
"nah......I think Zero is better......."
Nobody will says like this:''I think the plot of XXX is meaningful , the quality of the anime is good."

Who cares? they just want to see handsome guys and cute girls.


For me, it's different,some of the anime really shows up some important values of life when their plot progress on.
I have watch a couple of anime that is meaningful and brings out the good and bad that happens in real life.

For example, Code Geass, as I rated it the best anime I have ever watched,
with the rebellion of the hero , Lelouch, the story shows that the great impact that war brings to human, the desire of human in gaining happiness.

This guy of Britiania had start his rebellion towards the Great Kingdom of Britainia with the reason to change the world for the sake of his sister, without realising himself is to express his hatred towards his father who abondoned while he is young.
The second hero, Suzaku,through his own story shows the struggle of a man between his own people and his duty as a Britainia Knight.
Knowing to be hate by the japanese,Suzaku choose to serve the Kingdom that ruins his homeland and keep his beliefs that he kill to end war forever.
The heroin, C.C, an immortal girl that desires death, also brings out the characteristic that most people have that is lonely and desire to be love.

Another anime that i reccommend is Gundam 00 that just hits its end in early of this year.
The theme of this mobile suite action anime is politics ( which may bored somebody)

The main character Setsuna.F.Seiei was once a child soldier in middle east and he joined a organisation named Celestial Being in the name to end conflicts on earth.
Through the 4 meisters brings out the effort of human to end war and the dark side of nation politics.
oth the hero(Setsuna) and heroin, Marina, shows different stand to gain peace,
one insist on fight to change, another choose to gain peace in soft methods.
As the plot goes on, it shows how an human could be change by war and how people get blinded by powership.


I admit that some don't agree with me, however, I should say that some anime, with good producers, good plot, good characters is worth to watch than any love and soap dramas and operas.
It's better to watch something that makes you rethink and learn about our life than crying over your handkerchief for the love story that you can apply nothing in real time.

Above is my personal oppinion, any disagreement,
nah......mind your own buisness.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

回归

好久没写东西了,那些来看我部落格的人,对不起啊!
生活,还是那样,只是那份怨,淡了......
对阿,既然留了下来,也没有退路,只好往前冲了。
但在我心底,我,还没放弃自己喜欢的东西。
留下来不去学院的原因,除了家里,这也算是其一吧。


往后,若让我到了港新二地,我想
我不会再有犹豫的理由,
除非我移爱他人了,哈哈!


别地的游人这段时日也纷纷回归了,
数月不见,不知对方依然安在?
我想便是见了面,千言万语,终究只会化为一句,
你还好吗?


只有四字,但是,我想越是重要的人
越是分别久了,越是说不出什么话来。
对吧?
呵呵,好像很感触,或许最近看的书,影响了我吧!


回归的朋友们,我呀,这个人,是不太会说话。
什么嘘寒问暖,我不会。
只有四字对你们说,
别来无恙?


也对远在他方的慧雯说,
文具我会替你买的,别担心,
我一切都会很好的,
回不来,见不了我,没关系,
你待在原地,我会去找你。
或许不是现在,但我会去找你的。
因为我们是最好的朋友,不是吗?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

放弃

无可否认地说,我很热爱华文,
中华文学,历史,不能说爱得发狂,但是是情有独钟的。

中六,不知道为什么我的学校有点可笑,
理科班的学生竟然不可以多拿文科班的科目。
哈哈,可笑可笑!
所以,为了做个孝女,(华人百德以孝为先)
我毅然放弃,弃文从理。
唉.......谁让我不爱当老师呢?
谁让我生在这块无法令我身展拳脚的土地?
我开始有了杜甫和袁崇焕的感觉了,哀哉哀哉!

有些朋友说,你不读华文了吗?
好可惜.........
有些说,这是现实,忘了你该忘的吧!
我又怎么能忘得了,我又怎么忘得掉?
以前对华文的冲劲,怎么都转移不了到别的科目上。
这一点上来说,我觉得自己有点像痴情的杨过。
可是现在的我,务必要做那个陈世美。
毕竟我还是姓陈的。

悬壶济世,我不是不要,其实,也算是一个理想。
但是我,的确想要执笔渡世。
或许许多人呀,觉得我这个人,怎么老发穷酸梦?
哈哈,怎么?
穷酸?有什么大不了的?

自古有鲁伯,弃理从文路,
今有女杨过,为情而割爱。
欲如公羊生,穷酸潇洒路,
奈何不如祖,却如其孙哀。
愧对温师傅,有苦心难诉,
愿天怜苦吾,驱走世美途。

Monday, April 27, 2009

诛仙

诛仙,网络游戏者应该十分熟悉这个名字吧!
鬼厉,陆雪琪,碧瑶.....、
我没玩诛仙的游戏,但,我看了它的小说。
萧鼎先生的写作风格一异其他玄幻武侠大师之风,
对话不多,情感场面不冗长,却清楚带出了个角色的内心情绪。


碧瑶....老实说,她和张小凡之间没有带给我太大的印象。
反观陆雪琪,却很清楚刻画了这个角色。
爱张小凡,却不能不杀鬼厉,
恨魔教,却恨不起魔教的那个人儿,
她的一句我不愿,成了经典,不能爱鬼厉,却愿意为他付出一切。
鬼历嘛.....我也挺喜欢这个人的。
他内心的煎熬和挣扎,叙说得很真切。


只是,这本书依然有它的缺点,应该说满足不了我自己吧!
武打方面,依然不够逼真,难以令人想象其画面,
玄幻式武打,还是树下野狐略胜一筹,

但故事结构方面,萧鼎先生却来得更吸引。
在情感方面,双方都不错,但我现在是在说诛仙,
就只说诛仙好了,



鬼历,碧瑶还有陆雪琪三人的爱情
可以算是这本书的主线。
毕竟小凡,从诛仙古剑那一劈开始,支持他活着的
便只有那份刻骨铭心了。
他对碧瑶,也许是有爱,爱得挺深,也有着一份亏欠
毕竟金瓶儿说过,他怕自己忘了碧瑶,
怕忘了她的那份恩情吧?

至于陆雪琪,又是另一番了。
他们二人的关系可以说是相当微妙,
陆雪琪,毫无疑问,是深爱张小凡的。
鬼历,中间隔了个碧瑶,又不同了。
我想,张小凡对陆雪琪除了感动,也有一份爱意的,

从种种细节上来分析,我是觉得如此,不知你们又怎么想?

他对陆雪琪,或许是后日展生的爱,
碧瑶却是十年不能的忘情。

除了爱情,作者描述人类正邪也写得不错。
以小白带出焚香谷的内乱及虚伪,演绎出外表光线,内政腐败
青云个部的不和,天音寺的和善,人类对长生的执著。


所以大家如果有时间,不妨看一看此书。
的确值得一看。
上述只是我个人的意见啦!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Job Memory.

A friend of mine asked me to write in english.
Haiz.....Although I don't really want to.............
But what to do, she is my ............errr......special friend....hahaa
I had given up my job recently, errr.......To the truth, its quite relaxing without a job.
At least, you don't have to care about your alarm clock,
You don't have to worry about what to wear for work,
and you don't have to see your "boss" pull his/ her face in front of you,
and still have to stand there, trying to stay calm , so that you won't give him/her a direct hit on the face.

But, I do miss some of my " colleage"
I work in a kindergarden as a......I don't know, but I really didnt held an exact post in there.
Students may call me "teacher" or "jiejie" .
Other teachers, except Teacher Mi, refused to call my name,
instead, they called me "chan". -.-

The kids, woa...... A nightmare......
I swear I will never ever work in a place with such a lot of kids in it.
Some of them, huh, spoilt b
rat I should say,
At the begining, I tried to stay calm and peace in front their brutal act.
Once a while, I scolded, but not in my usual way.( Friends of mine should know how I look when I am trully in anger)
But, one day, the canon inside me just lauched.
And they fired at a boy,who is not very naughty but fulled of curiousity.
But he just touched my nerve, because I hate people just simply touch my things,
moreover, he spoilt it.
My friends, you may imagine what I looked like then.
I remember that that time was the daily reading time,
nearly all the students and teachers were there.
My fire power was strong, I think it was just similar as the rocket laucher.
The boy, pity him, but I can't pulled back.
Some teachers who thought I am a " gentle " type person, shocked.
The place is quiet except my voice, raising, and raising.
Haiz...my image break like a shattered glass.
But once I have showed my fire arms, I never keep it.
I started to fire those I think is acting more than a kid suppose to.
Truly, working here, I felt that,
I was grateful to have a strict mother.haha.

Okay,I admitted some of them are really cute, especially a little boy.
We called him " kai kai", his face is cute, his acts are just like a baby.
Although he is already four.
His brother, who is six years old, likes to talk with me.
I wonder why.
Unlike his brother, he is not cute, but handsome.
He likes to give me presents which will make me in a state of miserable.
papers, rubber band, paper folded aeroplanes........
I guess that's what a kid assumed as a present.
I do wished he was born twelve years earlier.

In the school, there's a lot of teachers,
although its not that big.
The teachers are all nice, always create a harmony atmosphere in the workplace.
However, there's something.....err......not that good between them.
They always leave our boss behind.
And, they always talk bad about our boss.
.............
Our boss, well, she maybe a bit stingy, and err, customer obeyed type of woman.
But actually, she is not that bad.
I think there may be some misunderstood among them.
But I dare not to say anything, because, I am just a rookie there.
No authority for me to speak up anything.
Well, maybe this is just how workers interact with their boss.

The teachers are all very nice.
Yea... I am telling the truth, 
Teacher W,
I like her,she is that type of person that do anything as long as she thinks she is right.
And she never refuse to speak up for herself.
an incident happened on her, a sad one, but she didn't collapsed.
I think she is is one of the bravest lady I had ever seen.

Teacher S, arrr, I like her existence.
She scoled, yelled at the kids, and she saved up other teachers energy.
haha, she is very ......cute I should say.
She is the same type of people with Teacher W.
Young, fulled of spirit, courageous.
I like to talk to her. With her, I filled relax, as if I am talking to a friend of mine in the school
No barrier.

Teacher T, and Teacher A,
both, are really good to me, really nice women.
i love talking to them too.
 And I don't feel the atmosphere that I usually felt when I spoke to the elderly.
They looked after me alot. Thanks to them, I feel warm while working.haha

Teacher K, a good mother, I should say.
She always worry about her son, who is not arrogant but stubborn.
She is a nice lady to talk with, but
sometimes, I was scared to cooperate with her due to the stupid hands I have.
My hands, err....just don't suits for art and craft.
haha, ya, it's true. They may know how to draw, but 
they are just too stupid for doing handcrafts.
Moreover, they famous for spoiling and screwing up things.
Haiz......Miss K, instead of thanks, I would like to say sorry.
Sorry, for being so helpless.
Camie is a nice name, wish you have an adorable baby and
Justin will be a good brother. (Jamie, I have faith in her)

Teacher Ml, nursery class teacher.
With her, we have a lot of funny things, funny conversations
for our some " crazy" acts, like driving.
She is nice too, like other teachers acts toward me.\
haha, thanks for always driving me home.
And miss P also , thanks, 
although we seldom chat, but she is very kind,
always sent me home. 
worry about my safety.
Other teachers like calling her "Ah pat" "Ah pat"
A cute name, and the cute boy followed.

Last , Teacher Mi, and Aunty,
teacher Mi, thank her a lot. She, is the one who find out I am stressful at the begining.
She is good in comforting the children, as well as comforting me.
i like working with her, I have no tense.
Aunty , Teacher Mi and me are the cantonese group in the school.
aunty, once I found out she spoke cantonese, 
i won't stop.
Ther, I speak several language,
English with Teacher s,Ml,R, and boss maybe sometimes.
Mandarin with, Teacher W, K, T , A and boss sometimes.
Cantonese with aunty, Teacher Mi,
Hokien with Miss P and J.
Aunty, a good cook. Learn a lot of things from her.
We both have great feelings for culinary arts.

thanks to all of you,
it's been a great time working with you all.
As time pass, we never remember each other.
But at least, in our life time,we had spent sometime together.

Monday, April 6, 2009

悬壶济世

不知从何开始,我想当医师了,
是啊,不知为什么,也不
知干嘛了,
也许是疯了吧,
是啊,就像陆雪琪,
也许,一早就疯了........

去医院,说是观察观察,应该说,是考察胆量吧!
到了我该去的医院,很幸运,我这个路痴,遇上友人,
经过指点,总算没迷路。
同校的朋友不多,却有三人与我同组。应该说,挺幸运的。
佛学会主席,女童军首领,还有铜管玄乐重要人物都和我同组呢。

看病房,没事,只是偶尔有呻吟声,还有小儿哭泣的声音。
本该呆在病房一个时辰的,
结果护士姐姐用了不到半小时,接下来的时间,我们都在那里当花瓶。
医师们好忙,进进出出,脚步不停,
有的微有忧色,有的眼皮下垂,有的依然精神奕奕,神采照人。
后来,在护士的鼓励下,我们访问了不是太忙的医师,
给了负面的答案呢!
放弃吧!医师不好当。
要牺牲很多的。

在乎吗? 当然,在乎。
但肯不肯牺牲,又是另一回事了。
我的组员有一个女子,头发短短,个子不高,
可一张嘴,很厉害。
英文国语流利的不得了。当医生,兴致勃勃。
佛学主席,铁了心当医生。
其余的人,也是志向其远。
只有我懵懵懂懂,不知能否胜任。
医师呀,不是其他。
一双手,可一治活一人,
亦可要了人的性命。
一个错误,可以当场至一人于死地。

死人,我不怕,
血肉模糊,也不足畏惧,
只是,那颗放不下的心。
放不下,放不下.........
执着吗?后悔吗?

不懂,明白的,应该是时候该醒了。
梦,一定要有。但是,梦是要醒的。
醒了,行了。
向前走,悬壶济世吧!
也许花晓霜的路,不是那么难走呢。

Thursday, March 12, 2009

成绩

今天可是大日子!
spm成绩放榜耶.......
拿成绩的经过,我不想再提了,反正说来说去,也就是紧张。
我有的朋友成绩非常好,全扫一等。
我替他们开心,当然,我也是人,
所以,开心之余,我有些羡慕。
羡慕是客气话了,妒嫉会贴切些呢!

我的成绩吗?比上不足,比下有余,
有些人听了,瞪大眼,觉得我的成绩理因不该如此的差。
有些人则觉得很好,有些没反应。
不错,听起来是蛮好的,
11A 呢!不错啊!
是全甲,但是败在冒了四个甲二呢!
我讨厌他们!
妈妈听了,面色如何,我不确定,
毕竟我没千里眼,电话隔了好远,如何瞧见脸色!
但是从语气来说,我听出来,她是不太开心。
爸爸反应如常,问我要不要礼物。
我,已经没那份讨礼物的心情。
姐姐带有鼓励地说,不错呀!
哥哥则说字体得些好看些。

我知道我不该在埋怨,理由是我的成绩的确好过好多人
但是,我就是不满意。
心里空荡荡的,说不出是喜是悲。
前途茫茫的,看不见光亮的出路在哪里。
好乱,好乱......
好与不好,现在来说,都已没那么重要了。
庆祝免了吧,我只觉得现在再努力,
方为上策!
考好的友人,恭喜你!
不太理想的友人,也加油!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

考车

今天终于到了考车的日子。
哎.....虽说我拼命告诉自己,
别怕别怕,考车而已。
失败了,大不了从来便是了。
可是,我依然一夜没睡好。
晚上七点多上床,睡得很香,醒来,以为已是隔一天,
谁知道,只不过是晚上十一点多。
翻来覆去,学车的一幕幕在脑海中闪过。
结果只好拿出沧海来看,越看越精神。

隔天,也就是今天,没有特别爱睡的感觉。
或许是太紧张了吧!
嗯,妈妈一大早把我送去了驾驶学院,
那时人不多,jpj的人也还没来,
我却心跳如狂。
在老仪的鼓励下,是没那么紧张了,
但是那颗心,就是不听话。
排队,登记,拿号码,依然紧张。
在这时,我认识了一位巫裔女子,
也不能说得上如何认识,因为,我连她的名字都不晓得
饶是如此,我们鬼使神差的聊起天来,至互相鼓励。

出路,还差点要了陈某的命。
考官老骂我慢吞吞,还拼命说要让我重考。
吓得我面如死灰,拼命求饶。
但是,恶魔面具下,她是有一颗慈悲的心。
终于以刚刚好的分数让我过关。
感恩哪!

考上山的时候,我又遇见那位巫裔女子。
一样的,我们又互相鼓励。这次多了位印裔婶婶。
巫裔女上山了,我排在她后面,
她的车到了线,油门很响,不知怎么,
就是下不去,还要往后溜,她踩住了break,试图阻止悲剧。
在山下的我,拼命为她加油,
但以衰神自居的我,真的帮不上什么忙。
她失败了,为她感到不值,却不能做些什么。
我呢,呵呵,竟然一举通过。
世界上真有奇迹,衰神的命运,不一定衰。

到了办事处,平日载我来的巫裔叔叔问我考得如何,
我说通了,我开心,他也好像很开心。
办事处的大哥哥也问了同样的问题,
他也笑了。想起上回在他面前为了学车一事落泪,
此时,有点儿尴尬。

回去的路途上,最后一次和司机叔叔交谈,
真的,这一学车的过程,我虽然有不开心的,
但是,却让我知道了许多事情。
和异族同胞在一起,其实也挺好的,
反而有时候,觉得同族的人,未必能如他们好。
我失败的时候,是这些异族友人的鼓励,
反而令我信心大失的,却是同族的人,令我好生感慨。

各族均有好人坏人,终不能带着有色眼镜来瞧人。
要数,我们的祖先其实都是同一种人,
即使如此,是什么人又有什么关系呢?
只要是好人便好了,管他是什么人。
和这些异族友人的短暂友谊,确实,令我领悟甚多。

Thursday, January 15, 2009

学车



我学车的日子,越过越糟。
就说说今天吧,我学上山。
几乎每个人都说,哎呀,挺容易的,上上就会啦!

不错,上去,是挺容易的,
一边别放,油门踩,轮盘别动,便上了。

可是,停的部分,普通人,用着两个方法,就把轮子移进线内了。
我呢,整整一堂课,竟没半次进。
教官的脸看起来很想死,我看着他也很想死了。

其实他也挺厉害的,可以忍我那么久。
若是我自己,早就把我自己踢出去了。
出路,我是觉得还挺顺利的,
至少,我没死火,也没差点撞啥。

但教官的脸色就是不好,有时会摇头,
我好想问他,到底在摇什么。
他那个样子,会弄得我更害怕。
我后来问他是不是很糟糕。
他说,我太胆小了。
是吗?

不是常说驾车要谨慎吗?
怎么谨慎,也不对了呢?

山路!你给我听好,
若我是恐怖分子,定吧你炸烂!

你等着吧!定会克服的!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

祖先

我的祖先,只知道爷爷奶奶,还有几位姑婆。其余的,我都一知半解.......
挺惭愧的,身为陈家女儿,竟不知祖上的事迹,
但是,其实,爸爸也知道不多......

我曾祖父,飘洋过海来到了马来西亚,
当时,因该是民国时期吧。
听爸爸说,当时,他是带着老婆和一大笔钱财逃了过来的,
来了这里,又娶了一个老婆。
曾祖父没有工作,却有这屋子,有钱供着爷爷兄弟姐妹们读书,
所以,我的叔公姑婆们都识字。
可想而知,我的曾祖父,是多么有钱。;

听姑姑说,曾祖父好像是富家子弟,
不知犯了什么滔天大罪,名国政府要捉人,
他的父母拼死将一大笔财务交给他,
让他来到了这里。

这个说法,也不是没根据的。
因为曾祖父有许多兄弟姐妹,为何独独他一个人到了这里呢?

曾祖父的钱,让他这种只吃不做的性格,
花得七七八八.......

这些事,随着岁月的流逝,
早已分辨不出,哪些是真,哪些是假了.......



大家都对东邪黄药师有些印象吧!
根据我爸爸,我五叔公,
不按时活脱脱的一个东邪。

我五叔公在厨艺方面不知为何,
极有天分。
爸爸是个会吃的人,他说,五叔公煮的食物,无人能及。
槟城第一个亚煲鸡饭,原来是我五叔公开始的。
生意很好,好得不得了,每日客户大排长龙,咋看之下,
仿佛没尽头。
可是那家小店,终究还是关了。

不是倒闭了,也不是被人堵。
只是,五叔公说,生意太好了,
不想做了,竟直接把他的店交给其他人。

过后,他所经营的饮食业的结局,
与以上一半。
都是因为生意好而不干了。
很奇怪吧?!
别人若是生意好,定是越做越大,准备发大财。
但五叔公就是不喜欢。

爸爸说五叔公会这样最主要是因为他从不愿在一个地方呆久。
他喜欢四处云游,是一个挺潇洒的人。
可怜我五叔婆,一年内,也不知见着丈夫几次,
甚至,一年也没见上一面。
终于,她忍不住改嫁了。余下了一个孩子。
五叔婆改嫁时,五叔公好像过了一阵子才知道,
因为那时,没人知道他自身何处,没能来得及通知他。
他听说五叔婆改嫁了,笑了笑,没说什么。
我好想问问他,究竟他爱不爱五叔婆?
但是,爸爸说,或许这样才是对五叔婆最好的。
也许吧....

五叔公去世的时候,与他活着一样
什么也不带走,是么也没留下,
一贯的潇洒之态。

我好想会会这位东邪般的叔公,
可惜,再也没机会了,
恐怕他日在黄泉路上相遇,我也认不得他。

Friday, January 9, 2009

天分,努力



昨天爸爸告诉我,如果一个人没有传承天份,只要他肯努力,成绩,未必是最好的,
但,他一定会是名列前茅。
这句话带给我很大的启发,我,曾经因为天份的事,差点放弃了自己喜欢的事业


爸爸说得对,有些人没有天份,努力了,还是失败了。
但是,没有一个成功的人,是没有努力过的。

莫扎特九岁开始作曲是假的,那些曲式他改编他爸爸的罢了,
他从九岁,一直努力至二十一岁才受大众的肯定,
但大家,都好像漠视了他的努力,只把一切
归功于天才二字。

当然,我没说天份这回事是不存在的。
一个人有天份,才会有兴趣,
有兴趣,会努力,但努力了,未必会成功。
所谓有兴趣,不是偶尔做做,练练,
便叫有兴趣。
而是无时无刻,都要努力的练习。
画画也好,写作也好,音乐也好,
都是得努力很长的一段时间。

听了爸爸这番话,我真的觉得,
自己浪费了好多时间。
以前因为自己的没自信,
自己的不勇于尝试,
害苦了现在的我。


时间不多了,
我要测试自己,快找找看
能够让我发亮的石头,究竟是哪一颗?


我要开始努力了。

支持我的,不支持我的,请祝福我。
这一次,我是要认清我自己。
我只想好好看看,
自己在写作方面,画画方面,
是不是真有那份热忱与坚持。
无论后果是如何,我不会怨任何人


害人的工作,我应该是决定放弃了。
我现在发觉,要呈现故事,还有好多方法。
不一定要走那一条路。

爸爸昨夜和我说这些话,
我不知道是不是偶尔看书所得来的感想,
还是真的话中有话,

无论如何,
爸爸,老哥,谢谢你们。
在分别不同的晚上,
你们都给了我不同的启发。
一个让我勇于面对现实,
一个让我找回测试自己的勇气,
真的,谢谢你们。

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

发梦



最近天天做梦,做梦还不打紧,
因为人其实每个睡眠都会做梦的,
但我的问题是,我发梦,我都记得呀!


我的梦都好奇怪,常会是和别人打架的。
使看太多武侠小说的关系吧?


记得有一回,梦见一男一女在比武,
自己则好像观众般在一旁看,
结果男的刺女的一剑,女的大叫一声,鲜血喷出几尺,
好可怕.......


但最可怕的是,我的心,竟也跟着痛了起来,
那种撕心裂肺的痛,一直到我醒了,我都还感受到。
这才是最恐怖的。

有朋友告诉我,是梦到前世了吧?
老彦,我也好希望是前世,
但是,至今人类都还未发现会轻功的。
所以,答案又是武侠小说了。


我醒着也常做梦,在家如此,上课如此,
还好,很少被老师逮到。


有梦多好,我不知在哪里看过那么一句活,
如果一个人要成功,他必须有梦想,追着梦想的人,
才会成功。


但追逐梦想的旅途上,必须时时刻刻守着做人的原则,
才是最重要的。



Tuesday, January 6, 2009

烦恼


唉......一场欢喜一场空,原以为找到工作了,却.......
薪水高的工,似乎都离我很远,
可恶的车油,害我一次又一次,失去了高薪的机会,恨死你了!
怎么这样,我明明很早就在找工作啊!搞什么呀.........
手机,psp,我跟你们无缘了,正是人家说的,
我,一个仙都还没赚到!


气死了,气死了,气得好想大声骂脏话,气得好想找人来打,
为什么,每一次我都这么倒霉......
家里也好像不打算给我工作,我快郁闷死了......


不是我贪钱,不是我不想帮,
爸爸,我自然帮,可是,之前明明说了
不需要我啊!
为什么老来打乱我的计划!
我只想工作,老天连这样,都要断我路吗?
做坏事,罚我,做好事,堵我,
什么意思呀你!


唉,事事不顺心,如何过好年?

发脾气乱写一通,
请别见笑。

Monday, January 5, 2009

找工




寻寻觅觅,找了又找,过了好些时候了,有些朋友已有工作了,
而我,却依然游手好闲!


琳说,慢慢来,急而不达,
千寻说,慢慢等,金石为开,
老哥说,不用急,家里不等你开饭,
老妈说,找回那份在家翻译的工,好方便,不用载,
子友说,先学驾车,再找吧!

可我,不能不急啊!
我终于想念上学,想念急急忙忙赶巴士,赶补习的生活,
至少,日子容易过一些,
现在,觉得自己只是一只家里的米虫。
老哥,以后不会再说你放假回来当米虫了,
米虫,不好当。
经济不景,没人要请,
深闺长叹,电话不断,
确是友人,嘘寒问暖,
而非长日,等待之声。
奋力寻工,音讯全断,
痴痴等待,肝肠寸断。
快快打来,日盼夜盼,
吾非杨龙,痴等十六,
无怨无悔,只因不耐。
更非梁萧,为等十年,
周游列国,只因没钱。

快打来吧,各位employer,
安能长期不致电,使我不得欢笑颜。




Saturday, January 3, 2009

上学

明日开课的朋友们,
该祝福你们呢?还是该同情你们呢?

老实说,我的确有幸灾乐祸的感觉......
嘿嘿,我也是熬了好久才到了不必看着日历,数着开课的日子的一天。


无论如何,路,还是要走.....
无论我休息多久,玩多久,懒惰多久,我还是得上课,得工作。
除非我死了。



先驱的人,我祝福你,
我的马,很快就会追上来,
发展的地方或许不同,但是目标却是一致的,
大家都要成功。




虽说是非成败转头空,但是人生呢,是非常短暂的,
谁又会知道,自己是么时候死呢?
我最怕不是死,只是怕死的时候,想不起活着时做过什么。
所以,追求功名,成功,如果想的话,去做,又何妨?

小脩,鹤门,琳,欣瑶,老哥老姐还有各位,
开学加油!


爱美

今天看了The Matrix, 又迷上了男主角....
唉,我总是这样见一个爱一个,记得一位朋友跟我说过,我很像龙女雨师妾,
只要时帅哥就想纳入帐内......


人呢,便是这样子,爱美之心,人皆有之,要不,吴三桂会引清兵入关吗?

烽火戏诸侯这种事会发生吗?

发生大事时,人人只会说什么红颜祸水,美人累江山,其实他们都知道吧。
这全源自于那份人性的贪恋,无法自拔的欲望......


从前的美女,好可怜......

我在想,如果有一天女人真的当自强了,
男人会不会成为青玉祸水呢?

又是乱写一通,只因为某人叫我不可偷懒,要天天写....
结果我却乱乱写了....
千寻,别怪我....

Friday, January 2, 2009

幻想的开始


唉,随随便便就开了部落格,不太像我耶。
无终幻想,为什么会放这个名字呢,主要是更我个人所喜的一样事物有关系。
反正幻想,就是无终的嘛,不是吗?只要有人,就有幻想。
好了,真不知要写什么了,请多多支持着不灭的幻想吧!